In my ongoing commitment to exercise, I swam one-and-a-half miles yesterday, and on the treadmill climbed 1200 feet in three miles in an hour, as well as lifting a bunch of weights, whose tonnage I don't calculate. So far I've lost very little weight, despite my thrice weekly marathons, because the exercise increases my appetite. Despite my best intentions I find myself grazing late into the night, and once I've eaten a certain amount of victuals after dinner, I throw up my hands and say, "What's the use?" And permit myself a measured gluttony.
No matter, this is a war not a battle, and even if I don't weigh much less, maybe ten pounds at best, I look much more compact. As they say, "inches before pounds."
Since I generally go to bed around 3 AM and wake up around 10 AM, it's hard to go all those night hours without scarfing. I do try to avoid fats. Except the peanuts I gobbled last night. In any event, if I ever master the art of eating moderately while exercising immoderately I may someday look like Mr. Universe without the HGH and steroid bulges.
How did Stallone pull off "Rocky" at 60? It wasn't Jack La Lanne's Vita-Shakes, no, he was busted in Australia for HGH and testosterone. Did you know that the continued use of steroids shrinks your balls? Bodybuilders call them "raisin nuts." Sounds like cereal, doesn't it?
I don't know if I've posted this picture of my lovely wife yet, but here it is:
Another good reason not to take steroids.
Have you heard this one? My mother's maiden name was Swedish; I won't give out the name for security reasons. However, it's been said that "Swedes have short dicks but long memories." I submit that in my case it only looks as if my member is short because of the extraordinary size of my balls.
Not many comments lately. Me, I thought my take on Congressman Mike was hilarious. Especially since it was essentially all factual.
No matter. Just because you read doesn't mean you have to comment. But if you don't I will hunt you out like the vermin you are and expose your considerable defects, physical and mental, to the world, by calumny and obloquy and umbrage and flatigious laceration. Yes, for failure to comment, I vow to capture you, you hapless slugs, and dump you in a bowl of salt and watch your green lives explode into a vengeful foam.
Are we clear?
At 2 Kilobunnies
Love always,
Dr. Chaffin
"But if you don't I will hunt you out like the vermin you are and expose your considerable defects, physical and mental, to the world, by calumny and obloquy and umbrage and flatigious laceration. Yes, for failure to comment, I vow to capture you, you hapless slugs, and dump you in a bowl of salt and watch your green lives explode into a vengeful foam".
ReplyDeleteOh please, not me! I wrote Thompson a scathing letter, too, about waivering on election reform. Not as fine as yours, but I did write...not to mention spent a wonderful morning with that beautiful lady you posted in the hat.
Pat
Well, if you are exercising that much, you may lose weight slowly or not at all, because you're gaining muscle as you lose fat. Which is all good. It will show up in volume, because muscle is denser; also you'll lose inches around the midsection but may gain around the upper arms and legs. Which is all good. Try taking a tape measure to your tummy every couple of weeks.
ReplyDeleteseems like I know you inside and OUT!!! NOW I have an idea of how large your penis is. Nothing left for the imagination here...sniffle
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed the website, CE.
ReplyDeletePat, I tried joining Alsop but the moderator said he wasn't available so I didn't try again. So glad you wrote Thompson. I still can't believe he called me personally because of my "weenie" remark. I want to know how he's voting on this watered-down war appropriations bill of which we should all be ashamed. I promise not to hunt you down--but look how my threat yielded four comments!
ReplyDeleteTiel, yes you are right. I suddenly remembered why I was doing this in this way. In my late thirties I decided to lose some weight and feared that my diet was so strict I might lose muscle mass, so I exercised to maintain it. Now, without thinking it through, I entered the same program in my mind except the diet needs to be stricter.
But this I know: You can be "fit and fat!"
Anon: I never used the 'p' word. I am shocked at your temerity. ;-) Besides, technique is more important than size, as long as size is adequate.
Thanks, Sam.
In "fat," one can indeed be "unfit" though slim, according to the latest (.0000001 nanoseconds ago, so trust me) research, which found that even slim people can, all unaware, harbor unsuspected amounts of HIDDEN, internal body fat around their vital organs, which have been proven (to the .00000000001 nanometer) to be even more FATAL than the actual suspected amounts of external body fat so insouciantly displayed by 30% (plus or minus 3 percentage points) of the American populace.
ReplyDeleteBeware. Beware.
The fat-assed thick-thighed body shape is less prone to coronary disease than the apple-shaped body.
ReplyDeleteBepear, bepear.