My mood is mildly improved, it seems, with the addition of Wellbutrin to the soup. Now my dilemma is what to do with myself. I have been withdrawing from the world for a year-and-a-half and have lost contact with so many, been unable to write verse and unwilling to play music. On disability I am not allowed to work at a job, and I am physically limited by my chronic back pain. For starters I think I shall try to weed the garden a little each day and continue my daily walks. I feel like an 80-yr-old man inside a 57-yr-old body. Truly, I ache everywhere, esp. from deconditioning, I think, despite my walking. Today I am afflicted with severe sciatica and can barely sit to write this. Oh this mortal coil! Why must it demand so much of us and why is pain so much part of the bargain.
Kathleen told me about experiments in which the brain re-interprets pain as pleasurable. Good luck.