Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Flogging My Blogging (and Serena)

I'm flogging my blogging, my audience is halved, the vultures' red faces are circling my sentences, I'm whirling and swirling down into the dell, the dell of the unfashionability of being well.

When I was sick I blogged more, and the interest in aberrations always exceeds interest in normalstances, so I quit blogging so often and jackdawed into health, nay, brayed into being my being again, and now I'm busy with real life, such as it is, with volunteering, writing, gardening, playing music, dealing with lawyers, landlords, disability, making friends, capturing feral cats in traps, going for hikes, rarely watching TV, reading good books, from Shakespeare to Martin Rees on cosmology and Paul Tournier on personhood, planning a men's retreat, trying to find a way to visit my grandson in view of his recalcitrant and immature father, living in pain, hanging upside down in an anti-gravity machine to ease my pain, though I still take meds for it.

I'm taking meds for my bipolar illness as well, of course, four of them, and two for pain and one for blood pressure, though my doctor wants me to consider a cholesterol-lowering agent to which he just had a reaction that almost crippled him, causing muscle destruction, myonecrosis.

Lipitor, Superstar, do you really think you're who they say you are?

Like I need another medication with my liver already overloaded with seven not to mention what I might smoke or imbibe on occasion if occasion calls for it, though not fessing up to any recreational proclivities necessarily, only reserving the possibility on occasion should occasion warrant it, and I'll warrant that won't be a bench warrant from a warrant officer who lives in a warren and wars with other warrens.

Haven't seen a good butt shot of Serena Williams at Wimbledon yet, waiting for it still. That woman is such an Amazon, I want a whip and a leopardskin loin cloth. My dear wife actually sent me a picture of Serena once, knowing my preferences, and here it is:

In June nine magazines took my poetry, two for features. I'll post some links when they're up, so I always say, though I sometimes forget.

I got rejections, too.

Getting ready to rototill my lawn for next year's larger garden; may still be able to grow a cold crop or two, like broccoli, before this year is out. Cabbage works, maybe not to late for peas or brussel sprouts.

My flower garden is doing well, unfortunately no pictures. Need to borrow Kathleen's camera.

How I do blather on!

I sincerely apologize if I have said nothing of merit or interest in today's post. Right now I'm rehearsing in my mind a poem to encompass my visit to my friend's property, where we assessed wildfire risk and sat in the RV parked on the property. My friend offered me a five-year-old can of Olympia beer he found in the forest and had left in the fridge. Naturally I drank it. "It's the water."

How to put that in a poem with the wildfires and the shotgun and the coffee we forgot and the ancient tractor half restored and the beautiful Derringer he showed me with four shots, I dunno. Usually starts with a first line:

"Inside an old RV"

Gotta put some beer out in pans to drown the snails. Just saw my first one last night but their evidence is in the big bites in the leaves of my dahlia.

Gotta stop sitting and typing, my back hurts too much.

Kilobunnies to all,



  1. Was the Paul Tournier book "The Meaning of Persons"? I'm wondering what you thought of it. I read it a few months back and was quite enjoyed it.

  2. Yes, it was. I like his "Guilt and Grace" ("Falsches und Echtes Schuldgefuhlen") best, just as I think C. S. Lewis' best didactic work is "The Problem of Pain."

    Unusual to find another human who even knows of Paul Tournier. I actually corresponded with him before he passed long ago at a ripe old age. He was sort of a European Carl Rogers.

    Thanks for commenting!



  3. Anonymous3:33 PM PDT


    Mood stability is so 'been there done that'. People want episodes of inexplicability. Can't you feign a couple of slip-ups?

    To my g/f's shock and dismay, my video of troubled suicide Ricardo Lopez is far and away the most watched. Though he was a poor kid who tried (and failed) to kill pop star Bjork, many people criticize me for praying for his RIP, wanting him to roast in hell for as near-slaying even as they re-elect Dubya to kill a couple thousand more in Iraq. Go figur the thought process.



  4. Aberrance sells. Man bites dog, yada.

    I had watched the Lopez video before when you recommended it to me for my opinion on demonic possession. But I had never seen it edited with your music attached, which was a different experience altogether, and on which you sound a little bit like Robert Plant backed up by Led Zepplin.

    But in setting the video to music, haven't you intentionally exploited an aberration? You can hardly complain about the effects of that!

    I do not think I am deceived to think that some who have stopped visiting my blog were formerly drawing some sustenance for surviving depression, and maybe they are finding comfort elsewhere now.

    (BTW, I'm by no means happy with the poem posted, if ever I shall be. ;-0)


  5. I like your blog. I'm starting a bipolar blog as a way to help me as well. I also write poems.
    Anyway--I have a question. I searched for Invega and got to your site. Have you ever cut it in half? I'm so drowsy. Thanks.

  6. Invega should not be cut in half because of the sustained delivery system; you can cut Risperdal in half, which is the same drug but shorter-acting.

    I found Invega worsened my depression when they added it because I wasn't responding to ECT. It reminded me a little of Haldol, the worst drug I know.

    For antipsychotic use in bipolar disease, I prefer Abilify first and Zyprexa second. Risperdal, the simpler form of Invega, has over a 10% incidence of somonolence--what you describe as "drowsy." Very common. Either you need to get used to the drug, have it decreased, or switch meds. Talk to your shrink. My license is inactive. ;-)


  7. How cool that you corresponded with Paul Tournier! A friend recommended "The Meaning of Persons". If I remember correctly, I had trouble finding much information about the author. I was rather "smitten" with him after reading his book, and curious.

    I'll have to look for a copy of "Guilt and Grace"--in English! I think there is also a book by him called "The Meaning of Gifts" that I wanted to look into finding.

  8. Anonymous2:06 PM PDT

    Well the intent was not commercial I can assure you and I don't think we've sold any CD's as a result of the vid. I was struck more as an artist by the lyrical resonance with a stalker, something I hadn't realized when I wrote the lyrics. In hindsight, I suppose I'd take the cdbaby reference off the vid. So to the extent some were criticizing the commercial dimension, guitty as chareged. I'm more struck by those who demonize this poor kid and think he should roast in Hell. My God what did he do? Plunge into insanity, attempt murder and kill himself? I say RIP, poor kid.



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