I've slipped. 8 days ago I stayed up all night and the sleep deprivation bumped my mood up temporarily, but I can feel it slipping again. Worse, I ran out of Lamictal because the online pharmacy I use couldn't get something to my mailbox in three weeks. As my sister says of Lamictal, "It gives you a bottom." That is, you're not going to sink all the way into the abyss. Depression becomes a contest of wills when you're clinging to a ledge on the pit wall, refusing to jump. What world view will you hold on to- how you believe things are or how you feel that they are? You must hold on to what you believe. This is what faith is. Faith isn't pretty.
On the other hand, in making my will strong enough to withstand depression, there is a downside: insulation from feeling, or a general lack of sympathy for what's troubling others, but some of this surely must be comprised of my medical training.
Bipolars, not schizophenics, are the true "split personalities"--then we were often mistaken for schizophrenics in the past.
There's a great book on all this business with a lousy title: Listening to Prozac. Therein the author demonstrates how very much of the human personality is dominated by brain chemistry.
At two kilorats,