Tomorrow I leave for the local men's circle for three days in the woods with sweat lodges and the theme of the Jungian magician within; the other archetypes for men are warrior, lover, and king. No drugs or alcohol or pets allowed, which means I can't take Kenyon and get him stoned. Nor can Kathleen come, as she doesn't have a boyish figure and would be a shock to the other naked men in the sweat lodges, where a "sacred space" has been created. I went to the three preparatory workshop meetings and listened to the talk, but my skepticism remains. One of the participants was so excited by all the magician talk that he handed out his own flyer for a lecture series, "Ancient Wisdom Concepts and Practices." Here are a few snippets from his outline:
"Music co-created with beings in spirit for healing, upliftment, and ecstasy."
"Accounts of talking to plants, trees and animals."
"The Angelic Order and Midwayers--who they are and what they do."
What do they do in that spirit world, and why should I bother with them? And were the Midwayers present at the Battle of Midway? My accounts of talking with plants are pretty one-sided. Of course, the plants do all the talking. Hard to keep up with them once you lift the gag order.
There will be a $7 charge for the lectures. My job this weekend is to avoid this man at all costs. I'm going to try to enter this experience without prejudice, but for a 51-year-old doctor and mental patient, I will no doubt suffer from skepticism and hilarity, and I will have to cover my mouth not to laugh when the next lost seeker showers his insights upon my material Christian brain. For me to be in touch with spirits would mean I need to raise my medication dosages.
Oh, these men are all well-meaning and will get a mountaintop boost from the experience, which is always followed by a letdown in real life. I'm going in order to try to make some friends, but I hope they're not just from the spirit world, as I find it easier to rap with someone I can see. "Better a live dog than a dead lion."
Thanks to Jarod for his comments on the last two days. He's right that comments don't reflect the interest in a blog, but I'm feeling a little fragile right now. Why I whined a little. Not a lot.
Two Kilorats,
Craig Erick
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Unexpected Light
Selected Poems and Love Poems 1998-2008 ON SALE NOW!
I read everything you post (well, to be honest, I do only skim some of the longer poems) but I am that awkward person in the corner of the room who never says much. I still love that poem, Home Surgery (that is not the correct title, is it?...Home Remedy?...I am terrible with specific details, but I know I love the way it makes me feel when I think of the words and now well they fell together.)
ReplyDeleteAnd I think the reports on this excursion will be mighty interesting to read, given that you are trying so hard not to be skeptical.
Your sense of humor and your ability to "report" on your own symptoms in an undetatched sort of way is refreshing (and somewhat comforting to me, as I sometimes view my own trials in that manner).
Ms. Anonymous
Dear Ms. Anonymous,
ReplyDeleteIt means a lot to me when someone in the corner gathers the courage to speak up and let me know some connection is being made. That's all I really want, you know: Evidence of a connection to convince me that I am connected as well.
You remembered the title of the poem correctly, "Home Surgery," unpublished though my wife thinks highly of it. Frost has a poem called "Home Burial," which may make it easier to remember the title of mine.
It cheers me to think that for some my blog is a diversion from reality, and for some, a means to better approach reality.
Yes, I am honest and clinical about my symptoms. Three out of four sibs in my family are afflicted, and two out of three of my daughters. For us, mood disorders are reality, which helps me with honesty.
Thank you for your kind note and remembering a poem that moved you. In that regard the short ones are always best.
Thine in Truth and Art,
C. E. Chaffin